I've got one word for you: Scrapple.

Thaaaat's right, baby. It's time for a big plate of America's favorite meat. The cooks are off today (work release) and we have to fend for ourselves. So grab a wedge of that . . . stuff . . . and dig in.

This ought to help it go down. Today's P5:

(1) SUFFER IN SILENCE : 9,992 6
(2) RATED F: 79,320 5
(3) COOKIN' FOR LOVE: 117,331 6
(4) WAITING FOR THE WORLD TO END: 118,101 5
(5) THE CIRCLE OF SODOM: 123,477 5
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Over at Publishers Marketplace, you'll see a new deal report (provided you are a member) for another POD'er gone the traditional route. To quote:

"Pamela Aidan (Pseudonym)'s AN ASSEMBLY SUCH AS THIS, DUTY AND DESIRE, and THESE THREE REMAIN, a Fitzwilliam Darcy, Gentleman trilogy based on Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice seen from Darcy's point of view, originally published on the internet and via print-on-demand, to Amanda Patten at Touchstone Fireside, in a good deal, by Lloyd Jassin. "

The first two books (both currently ranked under 5,000 on Amazon) were published by Wytherngate Press, which appears to be a "self-pub" deal (with exceptional covers, though.) The third title was published by Xulon, a noted POD company. In any case, the fact that this was a "good deal" means that it was worth somewhere in the $100K to $250K range. Sounds like it was well worth the journey.
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Jack Klugman is getting good press and excellent sales for his (short) self-published memoir about his friendship with Tony Randall. Not POD, of course--but self-published nonetheless. It's currently ranked at 983 on Amazon.

Why was this self-published? Either Jack has a real entrepreneurial spirit or he could not find a publisher--and I'm guessing the latter. I suppose he's not as titillating (*sigh*) as this bimbo* or this other bimbo. Sorry, Jack--publishers (not mine, of course) tend to be close-minded, moronic and increasingly peripheral.

* In the first two sentences in the opening chapter of this book, she manages to use the word "nipples" twice and the word "naked" twice. A budding literary superstar.

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Looks like Authorhouse has a new bestselling title--one that will not be getting a once-over here at POD-dy Mouth. For one thing, it took me over ten seconds to finish reading the entire title. It's currently ranked 558 on Amazon:

Scientifically Guaranteed Male Multiple Orgasms and Ultimate Sex: Restart Natural Penis Enlargement, Eliminate Forever Premature Ejaculation, Erectile Dysfunction, Impotence and Enjoy Daily Orgasms

Meanwhile, Eat, Drink, and Be Healthy: The Harvard Medical School Guide to Healthy Eating from Free Press is not doing as well.

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Please feel free to grab some antacid on the way out (two per customer, please) and we'll see you Monday with the sweet (digestive) relief of another excellent book that has yet to see the light of day.