The official submission post.
No, not that kind of submission, you perv.
I've been getting oodles of questions about what I will consider, how I respond, where to send and all that. So here you go. If you send your book to me and it doesn't meet these guidelines, well . . . you can guess what will happen to it.
What will I consider?
Well, I try to be open to almost anything. But I'm not. So . . . no science fiction, no poetry, no porn (or erotica), no fantasy, no cookbooks. Do I like those genres? Sure, but I am not a good judge of them, so they are excluded. Most nonfiction will be considered, but I prefer memoir and narrative nonfiction.
How do I submit my book?
Send a digital copy to this email address: email@example.com. Do not ask for a physical address. You will not get one. If you only have a hard copy, well . . . I guess you didn't go POD, now, did you. And don't forget to include some sort of informal (or formal) description in the body of your email. Don't say, "Read this. You'll love it." Because I won't. And I won't.
When will I hear back from you?
You will not --unless I am reviewing/selecting your book. Typically, I review one in about 180 books. If you don't hear from me in the 2 -3 month range, I probably passed. No need to send a follow-up email; those get deleted quickly. If I responded to every book that was submitted, I'd need two full-time secretaries to keep up.
Will you give me feedback on my book even if you don't review it?
Hold on, let me catch my breath from this tear-inducing laughter.
Okay, let's give this a try. I'm hoping this will streamline things. I am about 500 emails behind and get about 350 a day, so . . . it can only help.