A new year (finally).

I have finally read everything though December 31st, 2006. I am actually starting to read submissions with a 2007 in the date.

However, I respectfully ask at this time that you do not submit anything new to me. So, no new submissions until I give you the word. If I receive any, they'll be promptly deleted along with the emails for increasing my staying power and African lotteries.

To all the folks who submitted their hard work last year (and prior, for that matter), I thank you. And if you were not selected for my increasingly discriminating list, I apologize. It is important to note that your book could be some stellar stuff, but just not something that made me shiver. I'm subjective.

In fact, here are the main reasons your novel was not reviewed and endorsed by me:

1. I never received it. It was funneled into my spam folder for whatever reason. It had happened several times previously, but if you think I'm going to go through the (daily) 700 spam emails I get searching for submissions, well . . . . That's fate.
2. I lost it. Happened also. I was reading a book I was fairly enjoying and my machine locked up, only to have it spontaneously vanish from my computer upon a reboot, email and all. That's fate, too.
3. I hated it.
4. It was good, but not that good.
5. It was experimental to the point where I wasn't sure what experiment you were actually conducting.
6. It contained the word Guadalcanal.
7. It was almost identical to a book I had already reviewed.
8. I fell asleep reading it. At 10:30 in the morning. After two Espresso con Pannas.
9. It was in a category that I do not read (translation: you didn't follow the rules, dude).
10. It. Was. Too. Frigging. Long.
11. You had a serious fear of verbs and an abundant love for adjectives and adverbs.
12. It left me thinking, huh?

This northeast ice and snow storm has some of the judges locked inside--and reading the Needle nominees already. What if they all finished the books ahead of schedule? How un-publishing-industry-like!