Today's breakfast? Raw human flesh. (for my horror genre friends)

Don't mind the screams here at the cafe. And I'm not too shy to tell you something is smelling mighty good in the kitchen. And lookin' mighty rare.

No need for extra ketchup when it comes to the P5, however:

(1) SUFFER IN SILENCE: 12,554 6
(2) COOKIN' FOR LOVE: 46,212 5
(3) NIPPLE CONFUSION, UNCOORDINATED POOPING AND SPITTLE: 88,175 5
(4) WAITING FOR THE WORLD TO END: 119,921 6
(5) RATED F: 132,871 6

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Speaking of flesh, here's something you don't see at the POD-dy Mouth cafe very often: fresh meat. That's right, a new agent to hit the lit scene. Why I am mentioning this? Because the best time to nail an agent is when they are building their initial lists. It won't be long before you start getting the "my list is full" response (which really translates into "your writing/idea stinks.")

Anyway, this gal seems nice and she works for Mr. Z himself, so have at it.
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This meat is not quite as fresh, but is still worth mentioning. It is a hilarious (and inane) battle over reviews at Amazon. As noted months ago, it is incredibly simple to have a negative review removed from your book on Amazon, especially since they "err too far on the side of caution."

But best of all, this entire battle is over a self-pubbed book.

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Well, the Agents Diatribe posting certainly brought in a wave of comments. If I counted correctly, 47 people wrote in to ask my opinion of their agents. Like my opinion is worth a hill of rocks. As far I know, I only suggested to four people that they start over and look for a new agent.

And don't forget Writer's Beware and Preditors and Editors as great base points for weeding out the losers.

My extended suggestion (of listing the crappy agents) was regarding so many of the "reputable" agents (those who sell books, and in some cases, a lot of books) who are incredibly rude, foolish, short-sighted and difficult to work with.

But, one of my initial tenets of this blog was to try and focus on the positive (beyond my obvious biases and general irreverence, I suppose) of POD and publishing, which is why I do not (usually) pick on bad POD books--even though it would be incredibly easy.

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Speaking of incredibly easy, the big boner book, as it is now referred to here at the cafe, actually broke the Amazon 250 yesterday. Like print Viagra. If someone can figure a way to incorporate a diet system and sexual enhancement tips into one book, you'll become a very wealthy individual.

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Well, I hope you enjoyed this little food adventure. Please do not try this at home, and least not without a buzz saw and a couple cases of duct tape. And next time I'll try to have more fly swatters handy.

Stay tuned for more treasure on Monday!