Fuel the economy!
I mean, what adolescent wouldn't love to break free of the Potteresque tinge of his/her library. Blow his/her mind with this.
Afraid your kid is a little too balanced and optimistic? Bring a dose of reality with this little nugget.
Instead of reading mundane new stories about polygamy or watching that goofus from Twister, give the gift that keeps on giving.
And in case Stephen King becoming a romantic is not what your horror-loving friends are looking for, well . . . let's just say what's left of their minds will be blown with this.
C'mon, you know you've got that credit on Amazon from the recall of OJ's book. Put it to some honest and respectable use this time.