At once Freyed, now Burroughed.
First we had the Frey debacle, and now the fiasco with Augusten Burroughs. Who's next? Will it turn out Dave Eggers really doesn't have a younger brother? That it was really a kitten he took under his wing all those years in his twenties?
What we need are some foolproof memoirs. True? No, I didn't mean that. I meant foolproof, as impossible-to-disprove.
You fiction writers who are bored/exhausted/bereft-of-ideas/mistakenly-think-writing-a-memoir-will-be-easier-to-get-published should try penning some bogus life story. Just make it airtight. Here a few suggestions which you can take and use to pen a masterpiece. It doesn't matter if you've never experienced these things; just remember: airtight.
STRANDED: A Memoir of Being Lost
PARTY OF ONE: My Life Story of Having No Family, No Friends, No Acquaintances, and No Human Contact
THE REAL LIFE AMAZING DAYS OF THE BUBBLE-BOY
HELLO, BEAUTIFUL: a memoir of self-love
NICE GUY: How I Lived a Life of Loving Everyone, Respecting Everyone, and Generally Having Nothing Bad To Say About Anything. Ever.
GETTING AWAY WITH IT: Crazy Things I've Done That No One Can Prove
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?: An Adventure In Memory Loss
THE NIGHT WATCHMAN: You'd Be Surprised What Goes On When No One Is Around
ONE IN A MILLION: A Tale of Acute Anonymity
IT'S NOT A LIE IF YOU REALLY BELIEVE IT: A Memoir